he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
