Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
