i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
