she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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