Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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