I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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