when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
