Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
