One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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