no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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