dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize