Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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