uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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