awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
