Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize