The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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