he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
