"it" just moved
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
