I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
