Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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