just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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