honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
