He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
