One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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