The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
