wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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