its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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