She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
