its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
