True but thats because hes a fetus.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
