just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
