Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
