Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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