Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
