If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
