ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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