I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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