You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
