I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
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There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
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My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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