I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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