help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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