Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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