why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
