Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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