you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
