the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
