Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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