but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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