can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
