I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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