We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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