i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
