i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
try to milk me bitch
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