remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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