I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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