Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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