she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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