He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
