fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
