so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
