what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you win again, gameday.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
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At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
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I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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